In the spirit of getting to know each other, I thought it might be fun to share a few of my favorite embarrassing stories about myself (you know like those old magazines you used to read as a preteen).
Everyone has at least a few really good embarrassing stories. I on the other hand have dozens (it comes with bing spacey, clumsy, and awkward), so choosing my favorites is actually kind of hard. But after spending quite a bit of time thumbing through some older journal entries, I’ve narrowed it down to just a couple tell-worthy stories.
I’ll start with this one…
I was 19 or 20 years old and I was at a party with several of my friends. The alcohol was flowing and the night was well on its way to fading from my memory forever. And then this happened… People were doing keg stands. Well, my drunk-ass self thought, ohhh, that looks like fun! So I walked up just as the previous partaker was being let down and said “I wanna do it!”
“Are you sure, Alex? You don’t even like beer,” said a friend of mine who was still sober enough to know better.
“I’m sure,” I slurred. So, two of my friends grabbed hold of my legs and hoisted me upside down. I help on to the edges of the keg with my ands, and they stuck the nozzle in my mouth. After a few rounds of vigorous pumping,tThey squeezed the apparatus, and my mouth immediately filled to capacity before I started spitting the beer out everywhere ( uh, because I hate beer). Right as I was spitting it out, I lost control of my body (I guess?), and was no longer able to hold onto the keg. The next thing I knew, my face was plummeting toward the tile floor.
Fortunately, my friend who was still sober enough to know better managed to (be tall enough and) tightly grab hold of my legs just before my face hit the floor. I was saved. But, as he was triumphantly holding me by the legs, I slipped right out of my jeans and folded onto the ground sans pants. Right in front of everyone (face-palm). Luckily, I was too drunk to care, and these days, it makes for a pretty good story.
Okay, one more.
This one is from my private collection… As in no one was there when it happened (thank goodness).
It’s short and sweet. I was young, but I don’t remember how young. We were at our neighbor’s house one night while our parents were out, and for some reason, we were sitting on the lanai. At some point, every once else went inside, and I lingered behind, not realizing the sliding glass door had been partially closed. I suddenly felt the need to hurry inside (for some unknown reason), so I stood up, quickly walked toward the entry, and went headfirst into the sliding glass door. I hit it so hard and so fast that I think it knocked me out, because the next thing I knew, I was on the floor. Don’t even remember falling. All I could do was lay there and think, oh God, did anyone see that?
They must not have, because surely someone would have come to see if I was okay. After a few moments, I got up, walked inside, and plopped myself down on the couch in shame.
Have you ever walked into a glass door? Isn’t that the worst? How about totally fail a keg stand? I’d love to hear your embarrassing stories! Share them with me in the comments below!