So you’re looking for love and it doesn’t seem to be working out.
You’re putting yourself out there, you’re meeting people, you’re going on dates (some of them good, some of them bad), but no matter what you do, you just can’t seem to find the one (as in the person who you could see yourself pursuing a long term relationship with).
So what gives? Why does it seem you’re so unlucky in love?
Well I don’t know the answer to that question. Only you can answer that. But what I can do is try to help you figure out how to answer that question.
There’s one simple (but also sometimes really hard) thing that you need to do.
Check in with yourself!
What’s going on in your life right now? Are there other things that need to be addressed? Health issues? Unprocessed emotions? Traumatic experiences?
If you have anything else going on in your life that needs your attention, but you’re failing to deal with it, that could be what’s causing the problem. Maybe your heart needs you to deal with whatever that thing may be before it’s ready to find love. Whether it’s a health issue, a traumatic experience, or a broken heart that still needs time to heal, you have to deal with it.
When you take care of your heart, your heart will take care of you. And when you’re heart is happy, you may discover that love is a lot easier to find.
Okay, so you’re perfectly healthy, you haven’t had any traumatic experiences, and you’re not broken hearted? So what’s the deal?
Ask yourself this… Is there anything you’re holding onto? Maybe there’s that one person who you’ve always had a thing for (maybe even loved) but it’s just never worked out. Are you holding on to the idea that things could still work out with that someone? Have you done the work that you need to do to move on from the idea of being with that person?
If your heart is preoccupied with someone specific, how can you expect to find love with anyone else? You need to recognize whether or not you’re holding on to someone, and if you are, figure out how to let that person go. Finding love requires a heart that is free.
Okay, so let’s say you’re heart is happy and there’s no one else that you’re waiting for. What else could it be?
Are you afraid?
This question is a little harder to answer because it requires a lot of digging.
Maybe you’ve seen love fail one too many times. Whether it’s happened to you or you’ve seen it happen to loved-ones, relationships fail sometimes. People cheat, they grow apart, they fight, they experiences changes in their lives, and worst of all, at some point or another, people die. Putting your heart on the line is scary, and whether you’re aware of it or not, the things you’ve seen and experienced could be built up inside, causing a fear that’s holding your heart back.
Last but not least: Are your expectations too high? Are you waiting for prince charming to ride up on a white horse, sword and shield in hand, ready to rescue you?
Seriously though. Check in with your expectations. The perfect person does not exist, and I find that more often than not, it’s a persons imperfections that make them special. Give people a chance. You never know what they have to offer, and who knows, they might actually turn out to be that special someone you’ve been waiting for, even if they are [INSERT FLAW HERE].
So have you identified anything in this list that speaks to you?
These are just some of the reasons why you might be coming up short in your search for love. But if none of the issues I’ve mentioned feel like something that pertains to you, maybe there’s something else.
There are a number of reasons why finding love might be difficult, and it could be something as simple as living in the wrong place, or going to the wrong places.
Do some digging and try to figure out what factors might be contributing to you lack of luck in the search for love. The sooner you figure it out, the sooner you can make the changes you need to make and do the work that you need to do in order to turn things around.
Good luck, and let me know how it goes!
Want to read more posts like this? Check out my post about the secret to finding love!
Have you ever had a hard time finding love? Have you spent time working through something that was holding you back? How did it work for you? Let me know in the comments below!